To all of my fellow females

Clear your mind of everything you know. Clear your mind of everything negative anyone has ever told you about yourself, or the way that they’ve made you feel.

First of all, you are fucking beautiful. You are meaningful. You are significant. You were put here for a purpose.

You are meant for things far greater than you or I could even begin to imagine.

Stop tearing yourself apart every time you walk past a mirror, or misspeak in a meeting. Stop comparing yourself to others. Physically, mentally, spiritually. We are all unique. Embrace this.

Your body is a holy shrine of everything womanly. You are the embodiment of feminism. Own it. Stop tearing other women apart because their shrine is different than yours. Do you know how much we could accomplish if we built each other up, instead of tearing one another down?

It’s hard to be a positive force in this world. But do everything you can to be one. Cry when you’re sad. Smile when you’re happy. These are our emotions, own them. But also know that they are very powerful, and that you are in control.

Just because you don’t have children, or want children, doesn’t make you any less of a woman. For those of you that do, don’t tear your female counterparts apart just because they have a different outlook than you. Children are a choice. Choices are personal. One choice is not better than the other.

You can be a feminist and be in love. You can be a feminist and move across the country for love. You can be a feminist and live with your love. You can also be a feminist and not be in love. You can be a feminist and be single. You can be a feminist and have never been in love. However, the one you love does not define you. They do not make you the unique beautiful woman that you are. That is all you. And don’t ever forget that.

You don’t have to wear frilly dresses or sparkly shoes. You don’t have to wear overalls or flowers in your hair. You can shave your armpits, or you can choose not to. Your outer appearance does not determine your inner shine. Clothes are a way to express yourself. They can be fun, but they can also be hurtful.  Have respect for yourself, and you will go far.

You are a woman, and you have a voice. Use it to the advantage of (wo)mankind. Don’t be afraid to speak up for the minority. You don’t have to hide. You were made to be heard. One day you will regret the things you didn’t say. Try to have zero regrets.

Live your life. Do not be afraid. There are roughly 4 billion other females here that have your back. Lets be bold. Lets be brave. Hear us roar.

Visit Indianapolis

My newest blog post was featured on the Chicago Getaway Hostel’s blog. Read why Indianapolis is absolutely awesome, and why you should make the trip!

Top 15 children’s shirt sayings that would be totally inappropriate if worn as an adult.

15.) I can’t help it, I’m a ladies man.

14.) All mommy wanted was a back rub

13.) It must be poop:30

12.) That’s it, I’m calling Grandma!

11.) Sleep. Eat. Poop. Repeat.

10.) I only cry when ugly people hold me

9.) Daddy’s little tax deduction

8.) I just spent 9 months on the inside

7.) Lock up your daughters!

6.) I had boobs for breakfast, what did you have?

5.) If you think I’m cute, you should see my grandma!

4.) Pick me up (I dig older chicks)!

3.) I still live with my parents

2.) Don’t scare me! I poop easily…

1.) I drink until I pass out

10 things I wish I could have told myself over the past 10 years.

We all remember our first years as a teenager. Life sucked, drama ensued and you hated your parents. On a more serious note, often, teenage years lead to depression, suicide and sexual promiscuity. Experimentation with drugs and alcohol as well as more dangerous activities are often pursued. As one enters college, if these activities weren’t an issue in high school, they most likely are now. I feel like I’ve gained a completely different perspective in each year that I turn older, and I’ve made a list of the top 10 things I wish I would have known, or gone back and told myself over the past 10 years.

10.) Don’t let what others think of you interfere with how YOU think of you.

9.) Confidence is the best accessory.

8.) Don’t be afraid to say NO.

7.) Find healthy and positive ways to deal with your emotions. Alcohol and partying seems like an escape, but facing your demons head on and conquering with yoga, meditation or writing is a much better approach.

6.) Don’t let your friends rule your life. Weed out the bad eggs and fill your life with positive, uplifting people.

5.) Rejection isn’t the end of the world. Take it as a learning experience and try to find one way to improve yourself as a result.

4.) Don’t ever let a supervisor or boss make you feel inferior or less of a person. You are worthy, and when your mental health starts to deteriorate because of work, seek new employment.

3.) Think ahead of your actions. You often make brash decisions without fear of consequences and it leads you to trouble.

2.) Make a plan and stick to it. Nothing is more unattractive than flakiness, and it will make you a better person.

1.) Life is hard. There’s no way around it. You just have to endure the punches and ride the waves. Don’t ever let it break your spirit. Stay positive and positive things will come your way.

 

Live Life Beautifully.

“You girls are so beautiful. What I would give to be 50 years younger again,” she said. “Don’t get old and wrinkly, stay young and beautiful.”

These words touched my soul today as this kind, old, beautiful woman sat down next to me. She was dressed to the nines and sparkled with every word that she spoke.

“Combat the world with enthusiasm. Use it in every chance you get.”

She anxiously fumbled a napkin, rolling it back and forth over her fingers. I couldn’t tell if she was nervous, or if it was comforting to her. Somehow holding her poise and composure completely together, that she might break completely apart if she were to lose contact with that white dinner napkin. She was beautiful and spoke with such confidence.

I find inspiration at the oddest points in my life, at the most random of times. Sitting at my friend’s bridal shower, I was instantly flooded with emotions, and hit with reality like a ton of bricks. Here was my friend’s great aunt sharing her words of wisdom with me, and I wasn’t about to miss an opportunity.

She spoke with a slight southern accent and her eyes floated back and forth, not focusing exactly on one spot. She shared her story of visiting Cameroon in the 1960s on a mission trip, and how she landed her dream teaching job before she had even graduated college.

It was then that I was completely ok with where my life was going. I don’t need a set plan, I don’t need direction. I’m young, and passionate and free to go wherever life takes me. I’m ready for adventure, and mystery. I can’t wait to sit down to a table of young women when I’m in my 60s and tell them stories of my youth. And one day I hope they’re just as inspired as I was.

Heat. Heal. Repeat.

I’ve always been one to embrace the warm hug of sunshine, but today I’ve noticed the rain. It’s healing. It replenishes the earth when she’s thirsty, and gives life to new blooms. It cools off the parched ground and fills its dry cracked surface with fresh, quenched mud. It’s often hard for me to take a step back and look at myself as a speck on earth. But when I do, it’s phenomenal. I’m no longer a lost soul wandering with no sense of direction. I’m a happy soul with a purpose and place. The earth, like us, is cyclical. We blossom when we’re happy, we cry when we’re down. We are turbulent when we’re not at ease with ourselves, and we can create beautiful rainbows when we come to terms with our varied emotions. As the cold rain hit my back, and as I splashed through puddles, I was thankful. The world has been pretty cold to me lately, and all that I needed to do was take a step back, let go, and move on. Like the earth, my soul always seems to know when I need some healing. 

Photography.

It seems that all of the beauty and mystery has vanished from the world that we live in. Everything is too easily and readily accessible. I remember as a child going to the grocery store to get my film developed. I had captured all of these meaningful, vibrant images on my camera, and I was itching to drop the film packet into the box and wait to receive the phone call that my film had been developed. My dad had let me experiment with his beautiful 1980s manual Nikon, and I was constantly snapping photos. I would situate the 2 pound flash attachment to the top of the camera, load the film into the canister, and strap on the tattered, southwest red printed camera strap around my neck. My dad had taught me how to use the flash, and how to adjust the aperture to let in just the right amount of light. He would take me on car trips to the scenic hills of southern Indiana, and I would carefully snap photos of everything I found beautiful to my 10 year old eyes. After the clicking on the camera stopped, I knew it was time to develop the photos. Would the lighting of the tree be too bright? Did the photo of my brother on the tractor turn out just as I imagined it to be? I learned the art of patience waiting on those photos to develop. I also learned that not everything turned out as beautiful as I imagined it to be. Now, you simply press the small round button on your iPhone, and the image is instantly available. Sure, you can adjust the settings and tones of the photo with Instagram or Photoshop, but it isn’t the same. The process isn’t as beautiful as it once was. Life is too instant. If I have learned anything in my 23 years here on this earth, it’s that we expect too much, and forget to sit back and enjoy the process. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and your life isn’t either. Life, like developing negatives, is a series of steps and processes. Next time I’m in a rush, I will stop and remember life through the eyes of myself at the tender age of 10–the results are always worth the wait.

Anxiety

http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/08/living/anxiety-coping/index.html?hpt=hp_bn11

This article really brought back a lot of memories. This time last year I was a hopeless mess.

My anxiety had begun in my first year of college. I had no idea what was going on with my body, but I knew something wasn’t right. I went back home to see my childhood doctor and as soon as she asked me what had been going on, I cried. Not just cried, I bawled. In that instant she told me I was experiencing extreme depression and anxiety. I knew she had to be wrong, because there was absolutely no way that depression and anxiety could cause me to feel so horrible. It was a miracle to get out of bed in the mornings and push myself to go do things. I was exhausted and physically hurting. My vision was crazy, and I couldn’t even sit at a desk for longer than 30 minutes without having a panic attack that sent me over the top. She prescribed Zoloft and I went back to Indianapolis to finish my first semester of college. I remember taking the pills and being scared to death. I always take more of a “natural” approach to things, so taking these mind altering drugs scared the living crap out of me. Those pills were hell. “Give them at least two weeks,” my doctor kept saying. So, I gave it two weeks, and then I couldn’t take it anymore. The pills caused horrible “brain zapping” sensations that would come out of nowhere. I was so sick that I dropped 20 pounds in those two weeks and couldn’t fit into any of my clothes. I was constantly running to the bathroom. I felt numb. The music that once surrounded me was muted. The only saving grace for me was my art class. I loved that class. As soon as I picked up my colored pencils and began to draw, I felt life again. My art teacher was an angel, and always complimented my work. I remember walking back to my dorm room one night after class and getting into bed. I propped up my art supplies, turned Kid Cudi’s “Day and Night” song on repeat, and drew. I was in a weird zone, and couldn’t hear my roommate talking to me. The only way I knew how to escape the effects of the medication was to focus on my artwork. That same night a fire alarm went off in my dorm and I knew that I had to get off of that medicine. My legs were jello as I tried to climb down the stairs. I couldn’t feel my body and I felt completely detached. I somehow made it back into my dorm room and fell asleep. I skipped almost all of my classes–except for art, and resorted to alcohol to numb my anxiety. I somehow lived this way until I went home for summer, and working at a summer job I hated, brought back the anxiety 10-fold. I refused medication. There was no way that I was feeling the way I felt when I took Zoloft. I would rather have a panic attack every 10 minutes. But when it got to the point that I couldn’t even work three days in a row, and I spent my entire summer cooped up in my mom’s house, I had to do something. I went back to the doctor and she prescribed Effexor. It took three months and my mom crying on the kitchen floor before I put the medicine in my mouth. It was a daily battle to get me to take it. But I took it. And within a couple of months I was myself–only better. I moved into an apartment with two of my girlfriends, and had the best year of my life. I was always the life of the party, I was in the best shape ever, and I was single. I focused on myself and became extremely selfish. But it helped me forgot my anxiety. I was a different person with Effexor. I had never had that much confidence before in my life. I stayed on Effexor for about a year and a half, and then decided I wanted to be medication free. I weaned myself off of the medication and was surprised when I felt normal. No more panic attacks–even medicine free!

Three boyfriends and thirty pounds later, I was in the same boat.  I was on vacation in the most beautiful tropical paradise of St. Maarten, when I suddenly felt crazy. The sense of losing control took over my body as we were driving up a hill in St. Maarten. I couldn’t breathe and felt suffocated. I was terrified. My anxiety was gone, so I thought I was getting sick with cancer or something. It worsened over the trip. I had no idea how I was going to board that plane back home. But, somehow I did. And the months that followed were some of the darkest in my life. My job was horrendous and I called in at least once a week. One morning I drove into the parking garage and couldn’t get out of my car. I called my boss to let him know that I was sick in the garage, and headed back home. I spent my time in between my bed and the couch. Asking me to go grocery shopping was like asking me to perform heart surgery. I couldn’t do it. My boyfriend didn’t understand, nor did I expect him to. We couldn’t do anything, because I couldn’t leave the confines of my house. Driving to work and making it through the work day was the biggest obstacle in my life. I struggled daily just to keep floating. I eventually went back on medication–this time a new one–Celexa. Effexor didn’t work after two weeks, so my doctor gave me the least evasive anti-depressant. She told me that she only prescribes Effexor for divorce patients, so I figured that must have been why I felt so great on it. Celexa took a while to kick in, and I didn’t have any side effects like the last two medications caused. I never felt as great as I did on Effexor, but I felt somewhat normal. I was able to go to Target, go out to eat and drive to work without getting sick. I still don’t feel 100%, but I have found that a regular exercise regimen and yoga have helped me tremendously. Taking an extra long hot bubble bath, and then painting my nails also helps me relieve everyday stresses. Anxiety has ruined my life in so many ways, and has created tension in my personal relationships, but I have vowed to never let it take over my life again. Living with anxiety is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, but it’s something that I have to conquer. Someway. Somehow.

Top 10 Reasons to Own a Dog

My dog is my life. I speak to her in a weird high-pitched language that makes no sense at all, except to her. Because my dog is so incredible, I thought I would create a top-ten list of why owning a dog is a necessity.

10.) You always have an excuse to get out of an event: “Oh, sorry I can’t attend that after-work party. My dog has been cooped up in my house all day, and I have to take her out. Maybe next time!” All the while, knowing there will actually be no next time. Sneaky you!

9.) Don’t have any clean blankets to cuddle up with on the couch? No problem. Just call Lassie over for some quality snuggle time. Little does she know you’re using her for your own selfish reasons.

8.) Can’t find the motivation to work out? Your dog is the perfect companion. She won’t judge you for stopping after every minute to take a breather, and she will keep up with your pace. She can also keep a secret. After all, you deserve that Ben & Jerry’s after that long run!

7.) Did you happen to spill an entire container of hummus all over your linoleum kitchen floor? No problem. Your pooch will enjoy cleaning up every last drop. Who knew owning a dog could save on cleaning costs? Your friends must be so jealous.

6.) Your weird neighbor keeps trying to invite himself over…no need to fear, you have a dog remember? And your dog hates strangers and might cause physical damage beyond recognition. Don’t forget to go into detail about that one time your dog attacked your ex-boyfriend. That creepy neighbor problem = solved.

5.) You would love nothing more than to babysit your friend’s lovechild, but Fluffy hates babies. Darn.

4.) Your mom keeps nagging you about how you never do anything anymore, and your love life is nonexistent. Go visit a dog park. They are always full of social people and what cute guy/girl doesn’t love dogs right? It’s also a great place to make new friends to set-up doggy dates with.

3.) Have you been to PetSmart or petco lately? Who wouldn’t want to dress their dog up as Santa Paws for Christmas and make adorable Christmas cards?? And have you seen all of the different collar designs and organic dog foods? Perfect reason to own a dog.

2.) Just admit it. You’re an attention whore. You live for the limelight. You know what would make you even more likeable and approachable? A dog. Who doesn’t run after that person walking their adorable dog down the street? Just make sure you’re ready for a commitment other than yourself when adopting Fido 😉

1.) They are way less expensive than a baby, they can’t talk back to you, they love you unconditionally no matter your circumstance and they are your BFF fo’ life! Now, go on down to your local animal shelter and adopt the new love of your life!

Homelessness

Homelessness

So, I’ve always been a humanitarian. Concerned about the well-being of others, and I’ve always been deeply touched by helping others in need. My perspective changed after I took a trip to India last year. I realized how blessed we really are in the U.S., and that when we need help, all we have to do is ask. I was haunted by the images of children barely old enough to walk stalking us for money each day. They were under the influence of drugs, and some even had self-inflicted wounds brought on by their slum lords. The sight was enough to make anyone burst into tears. I tried to brush them off, but on the second day when a child about the age of 6 clung to our car while we drove down the road, I broke down. That is a sight I will never forget. Our driver slammed on his brakes over a speed bump to make the child fall off. Locals are able to create a shield from the beggars, and have no emotions what-so-ever. The same as beggars here. Except, the homeless individuals here, choose to live that lifestyle. The children on the streets of Delhi would love nothing more than a roof over their heads, and to know when their next meal might be. Our government and various other organizations feeds, clothes and shelters homeless people here, whereas in India, you must fend for yourself: AKA join a slum. I was so disgusted when I came back and saw perfectly capable young adults begging for handouts. I wanted to show them pictures and scream at them just how fortunate they are. In America, I thought people were homeless because they were too lazy to work and wanted to live a life of drunkedness and homelessness.

That changed yesterday when I read this article posted in the New York Times. The NY Times is one of my favorite newspapers, and always has been. This reporter is doing exactly what I wanted to do when I first discovered journalism. I wanted to follow the lives of less fortunate individuals and share their stories with the world. That was my dream, and still is. This is a five-part story, and it’s extremely lengthy, but it’s written extremely well and totally worth the 45 minutes. It reads like a good book you can’t take your eyes away from. I was always sickened by the thought of welfare queens, and individuals that would rather live off of the government and keep producing more mouths to feed. But this story changed something inside of me. It gave me a deeper sense of the struggles these people go through, and the vicious cycle that they become accustomed to. They bring children into the equation, causing the problem to not only be theirs, but 7 others as well. The reason Chanel had children in the story is very selfish. She thought it was the only thing she could show that made her proud. That, and her marriage to another deadbeat. These issues are very prevalent today, not just in this one instance. The segregation amongst schools is a common problem, that exists here in Indianapolis as well. Children should not be punished for their parents misfortunes and mistakes, but unfortunately that is exactly what happens. Please, read this story and be thankful that you don’t have to endure what these children do each and every day.
http://www.nytimes.com/projects/2013/invisible-child/#/?chapt=1